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Chandrasen Pena
Chandrasen Pena

European Movie Sex Scenes

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european movie sex scenes

"Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" makes a living cleaning fish tanks and occasionally prostituting himself. How much he charges I'm not sure, but the price is worth it if it keeps him off the streets and out of another movie. "Deuce Bigalow" is aggressively bad, as if it wants to cause suffering to the audience. The best thing about it is that it runs for only 75 minutes.

Rob Schneider is back, playing a male prostitute (or, as the movie reminds us dozens of times, a "man whore"). He is not a gay hustler, but specializes in pleasuring women, although the movie's closest thing to a sex scene is when he wears diapers on orders from a giantess. Oh, and he goes to dinner with a woman with a laryngectomy, who sprays wine on him through her neck vent.

Does this sound like a movie you want to see? It sounds to me like a movie that Columbia Pictures and the film's producers (Glenn S. Gainor, Jack Giarraputo, Tom McNulty, Nathan Talbert Reimann, Adam Sandler and John Schneider) should be discussing in long, sad conversations with their inner child.

The movie created a spot of controversy last February. According to a story by Larry Carroll of MTV News, Rob Schneider took offense when Patrick Goldstein of the Los Angeles Times listed this year's Best Picture Nominees and wrote that they were "ignored, unloved and turned down flat by most of the same studios that ... bankroll hundreds of sequels, including a follow-up to 'Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo,' a film that was sadly overlooked at Oscar time because apparently nobody had the foresight to invent a category for Best Running Penis Joke Delivered by a Third-Rate Comic."

But Schneider is correct, and Patrick Goldstein has not yet won a Pulitzer Prize. Therefore, Goldstein is not qualified to complain that Columbia financed "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" while passing on the opportunity to participate in "Million Dollar Baby," "Ray," "The Aviator," "Sideways" and "Finding Neverland." As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.

What has always made European sex scenes sexy, aside from obvious things like the presence of naked French or Italian people, has been that sex seems real. Not literally real, as though the actors were actually going at it, but real to human experience. Skin looks like skin, with actual pores. Faces have lines on them. People get sweaty, and there's usually no sound track. American sex scenes feel like a show. European sex scenes feel like eavesdropping.

But lately, European films are getting even more real about sex, and the result is not that they're becoming more sexy. These movies are blurring the line between usual film fare and pornography, and yet the intent isn't to titillate. "Baise-Moi," a recent French film about prostitutes out for revenge,

"Intimacy," which opened this weekend, doesn't go quite that far, but it arrives in the Bay Area having rattled or at least challenged the sensibility of most people who've seen it. Directed by Patrice Chereau, a respected opera and film director ("Queen Margot"), the movie stars Mark Rylance, one of England's most gifted stage actors, and Kerry Fox ("An Angel at My Table") as Londoners who meet every Wednesday for silent, desperate, animal-like coupling.

Contrary to some articles that have been written about the film, Chereau confirms that there was "no penetration" in the sex scenes. "It's a silly question," he says. "Of course it's simulated. These are actors. If I was making a movie about a killing, you wouldn't ask if it's a snuff film."

"Intimacy" is based on stories by British author Hanif Kureishi. In adapting the material, Chereau knew from the beginning that he wanted to make the movie in London, as an English-language picture with British actors. "I tried to catch something of the harshness of British cinematography, which is sometimes more vulgar and more real," he says.

"I had a temptation in the beginning to choose very beautiful people," Chereau says. "And then I thought, 'No, I'm wrong. I need good actors.' It's silly to choose a man and a woman only for their bodies. I was about to make that mistake, but that would have been wrong. In Berlin, a woman asked me at a press conference, 'Why is she (Fox) so unglamorous?' I told the woman, 'I don't have a perfect body. You neither. It's a movie about normal people.' "

In fact, a valid artistic case could be used for choosing very good-looking actors for a movie that spends so much time in the bedroom. The sex means something to them, but for it to mean anything to us, we have to want to watch them. Good-looking (they don't have to be beautiful) actors bring the audience into the experience as it's being lived by the characters. Icky or even average-looking actors, especially in a sexually graphic film, could hold the audience at a distance -- and threaten to make audiences want to keep their distance, too.

Sex scenes are not medicine. There's nothing inherently edifying or uplifting in watching homely people in bed. If today barriers are being lifted with regard to depicting sexuality in film, the movies most successful in using that freedom will be the ones that somehow make sex compelling and watchable. Director Chen Kaige, currently shooting "Killing Me Softly," an erotic drama starring Heather Graham and Joseph Fiennes, has been quoted as saying, "I'm not going to show things that nobody wants to see. . . . I want the sex to have a very beautiful look." Not a bad idea.

One breakthrough in movie sex is particularly welcome. In two recent French films, actresses in their 50s appear in naked love scenes. Nathalie Baye, 51, has an affair with a man she meets through the personal ads in last year's "An Affair of Love" (the French title is better: "A Pornographic Love Story"). And Charlotte Rampling, 56, romped merrily this year in "Under the Sand."

In an earlier generation, both actresses might have been playing grandmothers. So the movies could be said to serve a positive function in asserting the sexual vibrancy of women of a certain age. But one thing also doesn't hurt: Baye and Rampling are both gorgeous.

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo grossed $9,626,287 on its opening weekend, ranking at #5 behind Four Brothers, The Skeleton Key, The Dukes of Hazzard, and Wedding Crashers. The film's opening weekend gross was lower than the $12 million earned by the first film. The movie closed its run with a gross of $22,400,154 in North America and $22,709,407 internationally for a worldwide total of $45,109,561. This was lower than the first film's final gross of $65,538,755 in North America and $92,938,755 worldwide.

Roger Ebert gave the film a rare "zero star" rating, calling it "aggressively bad, as if it wants to cause suffering to the audience", and describing it as "completely beneath contempt" on his show Ebert & Roeper.[6] He ranked it as the worst film of 2005, and ultimately included the movie in his most hated films list.[12] Also on Ebert & Roeper, Richard Roeper called the film "the cinematic equivalent of a bunch of 13-year-old boys in a locker room repeating dirty phrases they've just learned" and "dead on arrival."

Ebert also chastized Rob Schneider for his overly zealous defense of the series, referring to an incident in which Los Angeles Times critic Patrick Goldstein called Schneider a "third-rate comic." Schneider responded by calling Goldstein a "third-rate, unfunny pompous reporter" in a full-page open letter published in Variety and The Hollywood Reporter. Schneider further claimed that Goldstein was unqualified to review the film since he was not a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist. Ebert, himself having won the Pulitzer Prize, took it upon himself to criticize Schneider in his own review.[6] He ended the review with the quote "Your movie sucks", which would later become the title of a book published by Ebert compiling reviews of films he had awarded below 2/4 stars.

Ebert and Schneider ultimately settled their differences, and Schneider sent his well wishes to Ebert during his recovery from thyroid cancer. Ebert responded, "Rob Schneider might (in my opinion) have made a bad movie. He is not a bad man."[13] After Ebert's death, in a letter to his widow Chaz, Schneider admitted that the situation caused him to "reassess what pictures I really wanted to make."[14]

Speaking of documentaries, 1968's They Call Us Misfit, followed two young hippies named Kenta and Stoffe and was notable (opens in new tab) for being the earliest example of non-simulated sex in a "legal" movie in Sweden.

In the movie, Emmanuelle is a filmmaker who debuts a scandalous, erotic film at Cannes. The original release of Emmanuelle 5 was met with some controversy due to speculation that director Walerian Borowczyk actually only directed the sexy film-within-a-film.

This 1969 movie was one of the first examples of the "women in prison" genre and there are reportedly four versions of it in existence, including Jesús Franco's director's cut and a French hardcore version released in 1974 that includes more than eight minutes of new, hardcore footage filmed by Claude Sendron.

This drama, also known by the title I Am a Groupie!, about groupie life in the rock music scene, was written by director Derek Ford and real-life former groupie Suzanne Mercer. The movie was originally released in 1970, but was re-released in 1974 with additional, hardcore scenes added in.

British sex comedy Keep It Up, Jack is about a struggling drag artist who inherits a brothel from his dead aunt (yep and stay with us, because the plot only continues down the path of WTF-ery), and then proceeds to impersonate her (that would be the dead aunt) in an effort to seduce the female clients of said brothel. A version of the film (opens in new tab) including explicit sex scenes was also released, but the hardcore scenes don't feature the credited cast. 350c69d7ab


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